I Can’t Stop My Struggles, It’s Just Me.

I hope everyone is doing OK.

Over the last week mentally I have been struggling, not only with my new diagnosis but just in general. Between going to doctors appointments and life, I have just hit a brick wall. When I get this point in my life I hit struggle street, what do I mean by struggle you ask.

Well, when I talk about a struggle, I talk about tasks. These tasks are near impossible to do, without a struggle. I fight my inner demons to do the simplest of tasks. if I don’t complete these tasks my inner demon becomes worse and I feel like it’s defeated me.

I still don’t understand why these tasks are so hard to accomplish when I’m in my hour of need. Why my mind feels the need to make me feel even worse than I already do, but it’s just the way the mind works.

I thought I would share some of my impossible tasks with you all so here we go:

  • brushing my teeth
  • showering
  • brushing my hair
  • eating
  • cleaning
  • answering the phone
  • getting out of bed
  • getting dressed
  • talking

Tasks like these are everyday tasks, but for someone like me when I’m at my lowest become the hardest tasks of my life. No matter how much you know you need to do it it’s just not possible to do. Unfortunately, this is part of my illness, but I wanted to share my struggle.

8 Replies to “I Can’t Stop My Struggles, It’s Just Me.”

  1. You’re definitely not alone. I related to all of those things — except talking (which is the one thing on that list I shouldn’t be doing as much.) Good luck with everything.

    1. Thanks for asking I come from a life of trauma, abuse(sexually, physically and emotionally). I also suffer from chronic pain and health issues. The story of my journey comes from my life struggles with how I learn and deal with day to day, also how I have learnt to keep fighting. I tell my story to let people know they are not alone, it’s not easy to combat, but we can keep going.
      I hope this helps answer your questions. 🙂 that’s for being curious hope you enjoyed reading 🙂

  2. Jen, I’ve added you to my prayer list and pray you find peace and healing in Jesus Christ. I battled my own demons for 15 years before a stranger who became my best friend stood with me as a prayer warrior and intercessor. I’d like to do the same for you. I wrote about that journey in a booklet, “Overcoming Panic Attacks: Emerging from Darkness into His Marvelous Light.” It’s free in the Kindle store, if you are interested. God bless you!

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