Letting Go……

The hardest decision I had to make was letting go of my parents. This was a decision that didn’t come easy, it came from a long and tiring battle, A battle, in the end, I knew I would never win.

Here’s my story:

As a child I grew up always fighting for the attention of my parents, especially my mother, I remember her sitting on the recliner with the dog on her lap. I would always want to sit on her lap, but the dog would have first preference, so I would have to kneel on the floor next to her chair. Well, that would turn out for the worse as the dog would then attack me and she would just laugh, (who does that to a child) so then I would leave. (anyone would if they were bitten by a dog).

My brother and I use to get into arguments as siblings do, but it would turn violent with him always hitting me, of course to my mother it was my fault I shouldn’t have got him angry. He could never do wrong in her eyes. I remember laying on the floor after being hit so hard in the back I couldn’t get up and her saying I deserved it. No help, no nothing.

As I got to my adulthood work became first preference, whenever I needed her she would say sorry got to go to work. One occasion I was going into surgery and she couldn’t take time off work when she knew how much I wanted her there, she also didn’t ring day of surgery or after to see how I went.

There are so many more stories I could tell you, but I would be here forever, I chose at the end of the day to let go as I was fighting a no-win battle, I watched her do the same things to my children as she did me. The one person in your life who you are supposed to trust and is meant to teach you love didn’t do that for me, I only do what I believe is right for my children, I have the closest bond with my children and without them, I wouldn’t be where in am today.

I will never understand why I wasn’t loved by my own parents, but I am loved by my own children and that’s the best thing I could have ever asked for. If you are loved by your parents cherish every moment because you are very lucky. I don’t see myself as unlucky, as I have all the love I have ever needed in my beautiful children and I cherish that.

2 Replies to “Letting Go……”

  1. That must have been so hard for you, but staying with your parents who did not show love, or care would have been hard too and not something you deserved.
    You showing your children the best things in life and most importantly love shows what a caring mum you are. In return, you receive love too.

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