My story begins when I was 6, I was molested by a man my parents allowed into our home, it was a very scary moment in my life the fear that ran through me not knowing what was happening, but knowing it was NOT OK, but so scared stiff not knowing what to do. I can still feel that moment now it never goes away, you just learn to deal with the trauma. I never told anyone about this at the time because I didn’t know if I should, which I live with now, but I didn’t feel I could talk to anyone.
Next I was 12 and had my first boyfriend and was playing around with him and he made a remark to me so I hit him jokingly, Well that was the worse thing I could have done because he lost control and beat me. He beat me so bad I couldn’t move my right arm, I was bruised all down my right side. At first I didn’t say anything, but I went to school the next day and me teacher noticed something was wrong, and tried to touch me, so I told her I fell off me bike, she then sent me home. I then had to tell me mum what happened and she told me I deserved it, because I hit him first. No one deserves this no matter what, but I was made to feel bad.
Then at 16 I met an woman older than me who introduced me to her boyfriend and his friends. Well this would be a nightmare. She took me to her boyfriends house where she left me with his friend alone, so he thought he could rape me, I was screaming for her help, with no such luck, even though she was in the next room. I eventually got away, ran out of the house and hid scared out of my mind, feeling so dirty, and alone. I stayed outside all night till my friend came out in the morning, I said I want to go home, so she took me home, but on the way home she asked me what was wrong, I told her what happened and she said I deserved it because I shouldn’t have been flirting. So it gives the right for a man to take advantage of a woman.
Then a few weeks later my mum kicked me out of home, so then I was out fending for myself, which saw some very dark times.