I was 16 living out of home hanging out with older guys, drinking, smoking. and partying. Hated who I was, I was self harming by burning and scratching myself till i had no skin.
I then dated this guy who forced me to have sex with him when he wanted it, I use to have to eat alone in the room when his friends were around. I had no self worth anymore, I use to feel sick when he finished doing what he did, then I waited for him to go to sleep, so I could go in the shower and just wash all the pain away. This went on for 3 yrs. Till he had an arranged married which got me away from him.
Then his friend took me away to, Well what he said to have a break for the weekend, which turned into a nightmare. He was just like the rest of the men I met in my life. He tied me up and raped me multiple times over a 24 hour period until my body couldn’t take it anymore and just kept bleeding and he let me go only so I could wash up, which is when I locked myself in the toilet, so he couldn’t hurt me anymore.
Then I met my first husband our relationship was like a well wind, we met, I got pregnant, moved in together and we got married all in a year and a half, then it all went down hill. He was physically, mentally, and financially abusive towards both me and our daughter. This was one of the hardest to escape, because I had a child to look out for. I finally got the courage to end our married and stop him from coming back into our lives 8 years later. It was one of the hardest things to do, the fear of how he was going to react, what he was going to do to me for leaving him. It’s a scary process.