These last few days I have had some much needed R & R and boy did I need this.
I have spent the most part of my life living with Mental illness.
Over the years I have spent many days trying to learn how to cope with the ups and downs you go through.
My word it’s hard, there are so many ups and downs that you endure on your journey, but it’s apart of living with these conditions.
There is no cure for what we have, but pure strength and willpower. Every day is a learning curve, but it’s definitely a fight worth fighting.
I will never sit here and tell anyone it’s easy because it’s far from that. I can never tell you that you will be cured, but I will tell you it does get better with practice.
I am just like everyone suffering, I too have bad days, but I’m still here fighting the same battle I did back then, but it’s ok and I’m ok with that.
This is what makes me ME. Except who you are and you will be ok.
I thought I would write about one thing that is close to my heart and one subject that does cause a lot of issues for many people. It can go in very different ways. This is the way it has taken me.
The subject I talk about is body image the reason I decided to talk about this is it is so important to be aware of what you say to people about their bodies because it can impact their mental status.
I grew up with a mother that criticized me about my weight, so she would always have me on diets. This happened from the age of 12. These diets would consist of only eating watermelon for breakfast, lunch and dinner for 2 weeks, and a rock melon one. No healthy diets that would make me lose weight. Mind you I don’t even think I was that big (I was a size 10 aus).
I was always told I had Dolly Parton boobs (great thanks mum) from the age of 14. The impact of the put down had me wanting to hide. I hated my self and the way I looked. When you hear how fat you are and you need to lose weight a million times you eventually can’t stand to look at yourself in the mirror.
One memory that will stay in my mind forever will be being intimate with someone and when it was over he told me to “get dressed fat fuck” because “I make him feel sick”. That devastated me I have never been able to feel comfortable in my own skin since that was 20 years ago. You never forget.
Things like these are why I ended up with my PTSD. Why I have body image issues. People need to understand the lasting effects on people when you make comments. Think about how you would feel if it was you.