A Little Treasure From The Deep

So I wanted to share a beautiful moment I will forever treasure, a moment many don’t get to be blessed to see.

At this time of the year it is migration time for our beautiful creatures of the deep, and I was lucky enough to share this experience with my kids while having some down time at the beach.

So I thought I would share my beautiful experience with you all, this video can’t explain the overwhelming feeling you feel when you see these wild animals doing what they do best, but I sure hope you can at least see how these beautiful animals enjoy their freedom.

These are the most majestic animals of the deep blue sea.

So Proud

Today was such a special day. Today I watched a boy turn into a man, he who I once watched riding his bike acting like a complete sausage. To watching him Graduate year 12.

I couldn’t be anymore proud of this boy, he has been through more than any child should in a lifetime.

Unfortunately we lost his mum to DV just over three years ago, every day has been a struggle for him, but even through all the pain and sorrow he came through it all and graduated.

His mum would’ve been so proud of him. He proved no matter what you go through big or small you can accomplish anything you put your mind too.

I couldn’t be more proud.

You Too Will Be OK

These last few days I have had some much needed R & R and boy did I need this.

I have spent the most part of my life living with Mental illness.

Over the years I have spent many days trying to learn how to cope with the ups and downs you go through.

My word it’s hard, there are so many ups and downs that you endure on your journey, but it’s apart of living with these conditions.

There is no cure for what we have, but pure strength and willpower. Every day is a learning curve, but it’s definitely a fight worth fighting.

I will never sit here and tell anyone it’s easy because it’s far from that. I can never tell you that you will be cured, but I will tell you it does get better with practice.

I am just like everyone suffering, I too have bad days, but I’m still here fighting the same battle I did back then, but it’s ok and I’m ok with that.

This is what makes me ME. Except who you are and you will be ok.

That One Thing That Plays On Your Mind

Over the last week I have been finding it really hard to push through. When I get like this I do things that make me happy to push me through, but I can’t seem to get past one thing.

I know that I shouldn’t let things get on top of me as it just makes my mind take over, but sometimes no matter how hard you try some just play on your mind longer than others.

Just Be You

These days I don’t feel like I am being true to myself.

I set myself a goal that I wanted to create a blog that showed my life, it’s ups, it’s downs. The twists and turns, the good, the bad and the ugly.

I feel like I haven’t kept to my true self lately, I’m not one who likes to complain or have people feel sorry for me, so sometimes I find it hard to write.

I want to share the real battle I have, the one I have with my head on a daily basis. The one I have to get up.

The reality of getting up, the endless fights with my brain, to the endless battle with pain. The excruciating migraines that make my jaw clench.

To getting myself to the end of the day with so much frustrating that my talking turns into screams because I can’t handle the pain anymore.

When my mouth keeps bleeding because all the skin in my mouth has been bitten.

All you wish for is it all to stop, to be normal just one more time.

Music Is So Powerful

Growing up I loved to dance and sing, I joined every singing and dance group I could at school, I also danced outside of school. I started dancing at the age of 4 until I was 14. I don’t know why I stopped dancing, but I do remember my life-changing around this age.

I sang in the chore at school until I quit school at 15, yes, 15 it was only for a short time when I realised what I did and returned to a new school at 16 to complete my year 12, Unfortunately, I only completed it partially as I was removed from my home.

Music was a big part of my life growing up, I also played instruments. I played the Cello, Bass Guitar and self-taught myself how to play the Keyboard.

Music is a big outlet for me, it keeps me from thinking of things, it also keeps me calm. I’m so glad I had music as a part of my life. I sit and watch my daughters doing as I did then and it reminds me of how happy I was.

I encourage their love for music to continue, in the hope they find the same peace and comfort I find in this beautiful art.

My Little Singer

Last night my youngest daughter had a concert at school, it was lovely seeing my daughter up on stage doing what she loves doing and that is singing. She has such a beautiful voice. She is the shyest girl yet she looked the most comfortable up on stage.

This year I really tried to encourage her to be active in the chore, which she did. I have been so proud of her giving up her lunch break to practice with the chore (mind you, she is only 7).

She has said she wants to be a singer and I want her to follow her dream, being supportive in her endeavour will hopefully help her take one step closer to her dream.

Devastated.

This morning I had a phone call from a friend of mine it was nice to hear from someone, I don’t let a lot of people in on my life or my health, but she has been a friend for more than 30years.

It’s nice to do a good catch up, as we don’t usually talk much as life gets in the way, but we make sure to check in with a message saying “I love you” or “I miss you” every week and a phone call once a month.

She is a friend you can say anything too and feel comfortable with, well that’s what I thought. I’m so devastated. I never thought telling her something she would make fun of me for.

She asked me about my health and I had explained to her about my new condition CVG (Cutis Verticis Gyrata) and she had explained that she used to make fun of a boy in school with a scalp like mine, I said to her that’s really mean. She continued to say it was funny, I stated it’s not funny, your really mean.

Near the end of the conversation she thought it would be funny to call me the same things she use to call the boy in her school. I feel so heartbroken how can people be so cruel. I feel terrible having the condition in the first place, without people making fun of me especially the one you are meant to trust.

What do you do when people make fun?

Don’t Regret What You Didn’t Do.

I think about what I have accomplished in my life and I really haven’t accomplished a lot.

I didn’t get my dream job due to being hurt, which now keeps me from ever returning to a job again. I haven’t been able to buy my own home, as buying your own home entails you to have a steady income and saving which is something, unfortunately, I am unable to do/have.

I always wanted to travel, but have been unable to also do due to being too sick for the last 10years.

I also spent the most part of my life listening to others rather than listening to my heart. I also put others before myself.

This has eventually lead to my accomplishments being forgotten or put on the back burner. Now I sit and think about where I am and it disappointments me

I’m almost 40 and I have achieved what I set out to achieve, so I’m making it my task to make sure my girls don’t make the same mistakes and they follow their dreams.

And if you have any dreams make sure you don’t put them off because one day you will regret what you didn’t do.