I wanted to write this blog to explain a little further on the blog I had written yesterday and the reasoning behind why I didn’t want a birthday after this day.
This day was the one I feel was the day my parents in particularly my mother, gave up on me and this is why this one stands out. What I mean by this is, by her giving me what she did it felt like an end.
Not long after this day I was kicked out of home and spent the next 20 years fighting to get her to be a mother. Someone who is there when you need them, someone who listens to you, someone who just loves you.
Finally, in the end, I couldn’t handle the effects it was causing not only me but my children. I left the ball in her court only to have it thrown in my face and told to not contact her until I grow the hell up(putting it nicely). I spent my life trying to fit in, trying to be who she wanted me to be, who was never going to be good enough.
This birthday was one year ago she told me to not return, so it’s still so raw, but I feel like that day was my sixteenth birthday when she brought me everything to leave.
No matter how much you try to move forward after an event like this every child pines for a mother and it hurts a lot especially with occasions like these, but we have to keep moving forward.
Just remember to treasure your loved ones.